How much do you trust yourself?

I grew up in a conservative South Indian family. Both parents working and well employed. I was brought up with the one piece of advice – study and get a good job. Marks are the only ones that matter. So, I grew up this timid, never-look-up kind of girl, and I so remained almost all my life. My academics gave me a Master’s in Tech. And that too in Computer Science. I should say I was excellent in my studies. Even stood one step below first in my uni. But..I was never really the geek kinds. But then society and family made that decision which otherwise should have been mine! That I was to be a software engineer. Anyway, I did spend my 15 years in Tech. Honestly speaking, I did well too. But trust me when I say I spent 15*365 days of agony. I was never cut out for that role. Then why? Why did I spend those hellish years in that job that I despised? Of course, it is the usual culprit – FOMO. Fear of Missing out on the money, the hard-earned designation, the etc etc..

Photo by Sangarsh Angura on Unsplash

I quit my job 4 years ago. It felt like how you would feel airborne in a para jump—butterflies in the stomach. Actually, they became lizards once the end of the first jobless month arrived. Dint know I was para jumping or jumping to death. Because that is what I was told. And that is what I believed. And true to their word, I tried picking myself in two different businesses, failed to see the point, and picked myself up and put myself in another. I saw it as a life experiment. The onlookers called it failure after failure. But then, I did find my honey pot at the end of the rainbow. And the universe has its way of showing you that you are on the right track. Things looked up, and I was slowly but steadily moving – this time UP. And then I started working obsessively on my new business on hand. And Voila. It is gaining momentum. And I can see finally that I was right and the world was wrong. That is how things brew in life, like the coffee aroma from the grinding of beans.

We need to learn to trust in ourselves. 

Wall graffiti that reads TRUST YOUR STRUGGLE
Photo by DJ Johnson on Unsplash

“The only place where success comes before work is the dictionary”. So said a great person. I would like to add, “Even in the dictionary, success comes after failure, attempt, re-attempt, and life lesson.” 

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